www.TraciToguchi.com: Blogs

This past semester in school, I took a creativity class, which I loved.

In my final project, I discussed how creativity can be used to solve everyday problems, do everyday tasks, see the world differently, and find creative ways to live.

Deepak Chopra's book "Seven Spiritual Laws of Success" is something I've been reading again. However, this time, I had been studying and applying one spiritual law each day (this idea was shared with me from a wise man - thanks!). When I was reading what Mr. Chopra wrote about the Law of Least Effort, I had one of those Oprah "Ah, ha!" moments.

Mr. Chopra says, "...Law of Least Effort: responsibility. What does responsibility mean? Responsibility means not blaming anyone or anything for your situation, including yourself. Having accepted this circumstance, this event, this problem, responsibility then means the ability to have a creative response to the situation as it is now. All problems contain seeds of opportunity, and this awareness allows you to take the moment and transform it to a better situation of thing."

So when we come to periods that seem like an impasse, times when things just aren't seem to be working out, we can have a more peaceful relationship with ourselves and others by not struggling... not going against the current... but by finding creative ways in which we can flow. Find a way to get in the flow of the wave... Find a way to above, below, on the side of the struggle or road block. Why expend energy fighting through something if the timing and other elements aren't right yet?

Like Dr. Jerry Jampolsky says, "we can make peace of mind our only goal."

By doing this we can have fun and live joyously.

Here's a toast to you and being on a peaceful path full of creativity, fun and joy!

For images, visit www.tracitoguchi.blogspot.com

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Like thousands of people, I've been reading Eckhart Tolle's book "A New Earth: Awakening Your Life's Purpose." I had started reading it from the beginning to keep up with Oprah and Mr. Tolle's Monday classes, but decided to let the "Universe" decide what I would read.

I've been inspired by many of the things I've read, and have been applying these ideas to my daily life. Most recently, it's been the words, "Be present."

This is the story that led me to this:

There are two Zen monks Tanzan and Ekido. One of them picked up a young woman wearing a silk kimono and carried her to the other side of a muddy road. Five hours later, the other monk couldn't restrain himself and finally asked why he did that. He said they as monks weren't supposed to do that.

The monk replied, "It's been five hours. Are you still carrying her?"

Mr. Tolle goes on to say that the memories of the past are not a problem as they are how we learn from mistakes. They become a problem when they become a part of our identity. It's the emotional and mental baggage that is held on to because it strengthens identities. [Yes, by building on the ego.]

I know I have done this. And since it's easier to see others objectively, I know many people who have also unintentionally created identities for themselves by continuing to hold on to past memories. Many hold on to memories that created pain for themselves, so their identity is that of a victim. They are not "living," especially in the now, because they keep their hearts distant.

By simply "being"... "being present in the now"...

These are instant ways to release the past, thus past identities.

This takes courage and constant effort, and it tends to be easy to sway back to what's seemingly comfortable because it's familiar.

However, by living in the now, we can only live our most powerful identity:

Our Essence

Looking forward to seeing your true essence shine so we can have stronger and deeper connections with each other!

Happy end of March! May April be amazing for you.

For images, visit www.TraciToguchi.Blogspot.com

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Started reading Hawaii-bred Robert Kiyosaki's bestselling book "Rich Dad Poor Dad", and wanted to share these quotes that resonated with me so far.

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The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost:

"Two roads diverged..., and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."


Robert Kiyosaki's "Rich Dad":

"Does teaching mean talking or a lecture?... Most of the time, life does not talk to you. It just sort of pushes you around. Each push of life is saying, 'Wake up. There's something I want you to learn.'"

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The relationship we have with ourselves requires self-reflection in order to observe what is happening, what we feel about it, and what we will do about it. Robert Kiyosaki talks about self-reflecting about his money beliefs at the age of 9.

The quote about taking the road less traveled resonated with me because ever since I could remember, I always made the conscious decision to do what wasn't necessarily the "popular" thing to do. I have read that this is what creative people do. I never thought about wanting to be "creative", but always think about doing things that are creative.

The second quote about life pushing you around is something that really resonated with me because I was just thinking yesterday about some challenging situations, why they are occurring, and what to do about it. When I read about this "push of life", I immediately knew what I was being pushed or drawn to do with regards to one of my challenging situations. I'm excited to act upon it today!

Wishing you a "Happy Green Day" tomorrow! May it help us remember the importance of thinking and living green to help preserve and sustain our relationship with our beautiful planet.

For images, visit www.TraciToguchi.Blogspot.com

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On the site, www.endlessthankyous.com , Travis Loriano, life coach and mentor, and Founder of Endless Possibilities, LLC and The Thank You Experiment, is interviewed. He talks about being conscious of blessings in our life which is easy to take for granted (like our heartbeat, breath/oxygen in our lungs, water, food), and expressing and saying thank you for them. He speaks of magical things that happen because of this gratitude. The Thank You Experiment is about trying it for a period of time and see what blessings come to your life. This also requires being open to miracles whether they are simple, or significant miracles, rather than discounting them as mere coincidences or things that are "givens" in our lives.

I wholeheartedly agree. This experiment is also something I've done for many years now too! Gratitude is indeed magical. Along with saying thank you for every single blessing I have in my life, I have found the blessing of saying thank you even for the seemingly "bad" things that happen in my life as well.

Since I don't know how the "pieces of the puzzle" will ultimately come together, I shouldn't have judgments on whether they are good or bad. They just may be those blessings in disguise that saved my life. Not to mention, instead of using energy to dwell on these "bad" things, energy can be used to create, explore and enjoy what brings us joy.

Something else that Travis mentioned at the beginning of his interview was about what he recites in the morning. This reminded me of an excerpt from my Feel the Breeze CD liner notes accompanying the song that I wrote, "What Would You Do" that I'll share here:

"Everyday, I try to wake up with a smile on my face. I get on my knees and look up to the sky. I humbly thank God for my blessings... From being alive, healthy, having a roof over my head, food to eat, clothing on my back, my loved ones, and everything I easily take for granted but try not to while in the midst of it all. I make a plan for the day that will help me accomplish tasks. I also plan my goals months and years down the road, or do periodic checks to see how I'm progressing. I consciously try to reflect and remind myself of the life I genuinely want to live, then go out and just live it, no excuses. Some days, I take a day off from it all, and just relish every second of every moment.

This song was originally titled "If You Could Live." It was never completed to the point that I felt it would be powerful enough. Later I found new inspiration to write this song using the same concept and lyrics, and feel it is my 100% expression of the original idea."

Click to hear the song "What Would You Do".

This foundation of gratitude can set the stage for a joyous relationship with ourselves, which then resonates with others, and ultimately, our planet.

For images, visit www.TraciToguchi.Blogspot.com

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Have become an even bigger fan of Yogi Teas!

So they somehow manage to put different enlightening messages on all their teabags.

There have been so many I've wanted to collect and share with you. Here's today's message:

"Life is a chance.
Love is infinity.
Grace is reality."
- Yogi

I love those different "levels." Grace to me, is like classic kindness. It never goes out of fashion.

May March be simply marvelous for you!

For images, visit www.TraciToguchi.Blogspot.com

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Was flipping through pages of a Body & Soul magazine (love them!), and liked what life coach Cheryl Richardson advised in her article "When Less Is More."

Traci's words: This is a lot like space clearing (feng shui). If we continue to "hoard" belongings (and this includes emotions and thoughts), we are not leaving much if any room for new and amazing things to come into our lives.

Another way to see this is what Cheryl talks about by asking "What do you need to remove from your current life to clear the path to [the] better life [that you imagined for yourself]?"

She says, "Achieving your goals comes naturally when you first eliminate the obstacles."

I did a twist on her writing by applying the space clearing (feng shui) influence. I looked at all the things I don't need in my life, which I deem as "obstacles" that are standing in the way from the flow of good stuff. They include:

DON'T NEED: Junk Mail - Since my company email address is on my website as a contact means, it gets picked up by electronic "spiders," which results in hundreds, yes literally hundreds of junk mail in so many hours (this includes those phishing junk emails - many with attached viruses - that have my own email address and name as the sender, and these get sent to me too!).

SOLUTION: Look more into my web host's spam filters, and/or find increased elements and security measures.

DON'T NEED: To spend so much time on email - One would think with my Blackberry, that I'm addicted to emails. I don't feel this is the case, rather maybe the addiction is checking it every hour or so (or more!). The great thing about it is that I can of course address urgent emails when I need to, let some "airy" time come into play before I thoughtfully answer them, and I can see what emails I need to look more closely at when I'm in a centered state of mind at my computer.

What I do find that has been very time consuming, is that I've literally felt mentally and physically (even emotionally) exhausted from reading, filing, responding, etc. to emails in the morning. I feel like taking a nap after that!

SOLUTION: One thing I started doing since I've been on this "27 Days of Healing," is doing everything that feels good for me first, before succumbing to the temptation to see what kinds of exciting emails I got in the morning.

To go further now, I decided that I will experiment with dealing with this massive influx of emails when I've accomplished at least one of my day's tasks in the morning. I'll use my Blackberry to keep track of what I need to deal with, but what's most important is for me to not feel overwhelmed by emails.

For people working in office environments where checking emails helps dictate the day's order of tasks, and who for those who don't have a mobile device to receive and send emails:

1) If you can glance at your emails objectively, knowing that your purpose is to identify and address only the urgent/time sensitive emails and hold off on responding to all others, that's a start.

2) Make sure you have accomplished an important task that needed to be taken care of (perhaps you needed to see that email first thing in the morning to move forward with that project), or maybe you didn't need to see emails at all before doing this. Either way, after your task has been accomplished, you can feel good knowing you got something important done.

3) After this, when you are centered and at your computer, you can let the emails roll and enjoy the process!

DON'T NEED: Clutter - This includes old magazines, clothes that hasn't been worn in a long, long time, hair/beauty products you don't stop to realize that you don't use anymore that have been in your bathroom drawers or cabinets for years, photos of "nothing," or photos that are no longer relevant to your current life and lifestyle, and filed (or stray!) papers/documents, emails and "work stacks."

SOLUTION: Filter those babies out and deal with it, whether it's by throwing it away, condensing or donating. Libraries accept magazines, CDs, DVDs, and of course other organizations accept most other items in usable/re-sellable condition. Best rule of thumb: if you'd give it to a family member, it should be appropriate to donate to charity. Giving "trash" or things that are not usable/re-sellable becomes a financial and manpower burden for organizations to deal with. Please kokua (Hawaiian = help)!

Whew, I feel so much lighter already!

Physical space clearing is healthy for our emotional and mental well-being. If you look at everything you have in your possession, from photos to books, ask yourself what emotional and mental connection you are holding on to, and whether you still want to hold on to these memories and ideas. Do you want someone new in your life or do you want to keep holding on to what you had in the past? Do you want more things that will bring you joy today? If so, you may want to release all that "stuff" that is taking too much space in your life and keeping you from getting it.

The next step: Subtracting activities or projects that are prohibiting the flow of people and things you want to come, and affecting its growth.

For images, visit www.TraciToguchi.Blogspot.com

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The one, the only one, that could take your breath away...

Who knows you... who understands you... who loves you, who you love.

But wait, there could be more than one soul mate?!


As a hopeless romantic, I must admit, I always believed (and still do), that there is only person out there for us. I was shocked at reactions when this topic came up on my talk radio show. My guest and I were talking about her loving husband, and I mentioned an article from a news magazine, which stated that a higher percentage of people polled believed there was more than one soul mate. My male "sidekick" mentioned there could possibly be more than one person meant for us, and that we may never know.

This conversation sparked on ongoing debate with listeners and radio station staffers (even the radio station general manager offered his 2 cents to me in the hall!), most of whom were men chiming in how there's more than one.


Here's the jist of a recent conversation I had about someone not settling down yet:

Other Person ("OP"): He's too picky.

Traci ("TT"): He just hasn't found the right one.

OP: You make it sound like there's only one person out there for us.

TT: Yes, that's what I believe.

OP: [Said something about his ex-wife and how that relationship was something.]

TT: I feel that if it had worked out for you, she would have been the one. But since it didn't, it means you still haven't found that person yet. That relationship you had helped you evolve, perhaps to be ready for the one for you.

OP: [Said something about me being a hopeless romantic...]


Here's my theory:

There's only one "soul mate," "lifetime mate," "kindred spirit," whatever you want to call it.

"What about those people we never met halfway across the globe that also could be the one?" Well, if you haven't met them, chances are, they aren't the one! If you were with someone or people whom you thought were the "one," but you're no longer with them, I believe these relationships helped you learn and grow. If one or both of you fell "out of love" with each other, or one of you were not as "into" each other as the other, then also, no.

If we walked around everyday believing that we have more than one soul mate, we're going to be meeting cool people, then wondering. We may find this person attractive or that person intriguing, then wonder again. Why even put that kind of energy out there? What's so wrong with believing that the person that you're with is the only one for you, and treat that relationship as such, unless you're proven otherwise?

Could this be one of the underlying reasons for infidelity? (Besides insecurity by the person who didn't have the inner strength to communicate with his/her mate that something is not going right BEFORE trying to find that in someone else.) That endless hope, glimmer of light - to meet someone who may be yet another soul mate, is just unnecessarily fanning the temptation flame.

One common word I hear from married people, happy or unhappy is that they desire "passion" in a relationship, and most times, they're not getting it. I could go on and on about this point, but will instead point out something else about the topic at hand.


Someone could point out one of my favorite topics - aging - and say, with life expectancy of at least 100 years, do you honestly think that we could only have one "soul mate"?

Yes, I do. According to Ken Dychtwald's book "Age Wave," he mentions that it will not be uncommon for people (especially Baby Boomers) to be with more than one mate for different "periods" or "cycles" in their lives. We'll see people having more than one career or one career, then a switch to doing something that is completely a passion. This will affect their love lives respectively.

So my take on these "mates-per-life period"? The same, I believe our soul mate is the one we will be with until our final "day" on this planet. Ideally, it would be fabulous for it to be just one person. That both people could learn, explore and evolve together, until we take our final breath. Very tough to "expect," but nothing's impossible!


Wikipedia: Soulmate is a term sometimes used to designate someone with whom one has a feeling of deep and natural affinity, friendship, love, intimacy, sexuality, and/or compatibility.

About.com: Reincarnation: Some believe that a soul mate is someone with whom a person has shared other life times through reincarnation. Other Half: Others believe, like the ancient Greek philosopher Plato, that a soul mate is a person's "other half".

Sylvia Browne's book "God, Creation & Tools for Life":

"... soulmate. This term has been erroneously used... The Earth planet, unlike others, is not conducive to both souls coming down... the soulmate usually stays on the [o]ther [s]ide to guard, love, and guide the person, and be a partner to the spirit guide... The soulmate carries the best of you - a more complete you."

"A kindred soul is one that comes down with you who is of the same mind-set... Every soul that comes down will, if they are smart, select a group of kindred spirits to come with them. When these magnets come together, there is an instant affinity. One should marry a kindred spirit. One's best friend is a kindred spirit... A kindred soul is the friend who loves you for the total summation of whatever you will do, whatever you are, and whatever you are becoming, no qualifications."


Ultimately, I believe the most important thing about love is to start with yourself.

Love yourself, make yourself happy, and do for yourself what you would want your love to do for you.

For images, see www.TraciToguchi.Blogspot.com

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"Happiness is not something ready made... It comes from your own actions." - Dalai Lama

During this week's healing process (from a two week plus flu - 20 days to be exact), I found myself feeling at least 90% better physically (still coughing and very tired), but with a fusion of feelings of concern and appreciation. If you recall my recent blog, I mentioned that I had been without my voice/most of my voice. As someone who earns a happy and fulfilling living using my voice (to speak and sing), this obviously concerned me. I tried to not think about it too much, but had been letting time, and the herbal and homeopathic remedies do their jobs.

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According to Louise Hay, author of the best selling book, "You Can Heal Your Life," she mentions these things:

Throats represent our ability to speak for ourselves. Also represents the body's creative flow.

When throat problems occur:
- Usually means we feel we don't have the right to ask for what we want; don't feel adequate standing up for ourselves.
- Creativity is stifled. Living lives for others; trying to please others.

Sore throats: always anger. Colds: mental confusion too. Laryngitis: so angry cannot speak.

When activity in throats occur:
- Resisting change, middle of it, trying to change
- When you or someone coughs: notice what was said, what is being reacted to

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This concern and appreciation for my voice during this time forced me to reflect on what has been really going on internally, which has actually been helping me develop my strongest voice yet - my inner voice.

Since I'm very detail oriented and analytical, I often have a tough time deciphering what my "inner voice" or "gut instinct" is telling me. My naturopathic doctor referred me to a spiritual counselor who helped me discover it. One of the best things I found in being able to hear and follow my inner voice is that it has given me a freer feeling. The counselor described it as an "airy" feeling, and I much prefer to be in this love-focused and airy place because it sure beats over thinking things (this feeling is full of "stuff" and feels very "tight" and tense) and often times coming to inaccurate judgments of people and situations. I have started to apply this new discovery to practically every part of my life. I have started to apply this new discovery to practically every part of my life. It's amazing how forgiveness and compassion naturally come when awareness and openness is present.

Through the counselor, I was also reminded of the ability we have to be whole, complete, happy and fulfilled within our own selves so that no matter what any one else does, it won't "rattle" us. Of course, it's easier said than done, and being "reactionary" tends to be a no-brainer. For me, giving my power away by letting myself react to what someone else said or did was just not working for me anymore.

Freedom.

I love:

- Being free to live and enjoy my life exactly the way I want despite what others may say or think

- Being free to not have to live according to other people's moods, but focus on making my world joyful

- Being free to live, speak and sing from my heart

So here's to a life of love and freedom to be and express who you are!

For images, visit www.TraciToguchi.Blogspot.com

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Ah, healing is heaven!

Thanks to those who took the time to send me kind and thoughtful emails regarding my forgiveness blog, sharing how it helped you.

It takes courage and inner strength to look honestly at our strengths and weaknesses, and reflect and seek ways to evolve.

What a blessing in every opportunity to change.


While I've been healing and having a "forced vacation," I had to keep up with my school work.

Wanted to share these postings with you about some of my thoughts about what's on the Internet. What does this have to do with relationships? These sites help people connect on business and recreational levels...

On Google:
Google is one of my preferred Internet sites and companies because they are the pioneer innovators and continue to evolve and expand their services and revenue. They are successful because their features attract consumers as much as they attract advertisers, so this is a 3 time win (consumers, advertisers, Google).

Google has taken the time to look at problems and missing features in existing products and has provided services including:

- Webmail - Through gmail accounts, more space is provided, with features including being able to automatically send copies of emails to a non-gmail address; auto save is a must have!

- Blogs - Anyone and everyone can be a columnist, reviewer, etc. via this free service that allows people the free option to help promote it via Google's own and powerful web spiders.

- Grand Central - Free service that lets people pick a new phone number from virtually anywhere in the US. Integrate all existing phones and voicemail boxes into one number that never changes.

- Google Docs - Free web-based word processor and spreadsheet (like Microsoft Word and Excel), which allow you to share and collaborate online, and safely store your work with Google.

- AdWords and AdSense - Allows advertisers to choose searched keywords to advertise their business, and consumers to earn revenue by allowing advertiser links on their sites, blogs, etc.

The features are endless, as Google rules the internet universe!


On MySpace:
It is interesting when I get some friend requests from people that are about 60+. Very cool!

What's also interesting and a little sad is how people get so into their cyber friendships, that they get I feel a little too focused on how many friends they can get (and most times these are people they may never meet), how many friend requests, comments and emails they receive, and how they show their reaction to you by changing your "Top Friends" placement.

I recall reading an article I believe in the New York Times about how people have gotten into arguments and couples have broken up because of the placement of these "Top Friends."

When someone drops you as one of their "Top Friends," that's a good indication of where you rank in their "world." If you get deleted as a Friend, that person is really telling you something. Ouch.


On signing up for user accounts:
I feel one of the most challenging things to keep up with is passwords! (Usernames can also be a challenge if you have similar or commonly chosen usernames.)

Some people have told me that they use the same password for everything, but I don't think that's the wisest thing to do.

And as websites are starting to require more challenging passwords with uses of numbers and many times encouraging the use of symbols, it makes using the same password not so easy anymore.

Great that we are being required to be cognizant of security and encouraged to be creative with passwords.

May your surfing in cyberworld bring you the fulfilling connections you need!

www.TraciToguchi.Blogspot.com

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Since last week Friday, I've been quite sick. Symptoms of the flu seemed to quickly appear (fever, body aches, congestion). I waited perhaps too long to seek professional treatment, as I thought this too was something I could heal myself as I usually do in 2-3 days.

Thanks to my raw and tender throat, I have found bliss and a delightful peace that has allowed me to listen rather than just hear. As I have been healing / detoxing / cleansing / you name it, between the coughing, hacking and nose blowing, I've been praying, meditating, writing a lot and reading.

One of the books I began to re-read is one of my favorites, "Forgiveness: The Greatest Healer of All" by Gerald G. Jampolsky, M.D.

Since my attempts at the typical and recommended home remedies hasn't been working (i.e. lots of liquids/water, lots of sleep, chicken soup), I began to go deeper by peeling off more self-reflection layers than I usually do.

I knew that my illness was due to a relationship matter that I hadn't resolved, but I figured my awareness equaled my forgiveness. Turns out I was wrong!

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I immediately had a reaction (specifically, coughing attacks!) to reading Dr. Jampolsky's words this time around:

Forgiveness:

- Releases us by stopping our inner battles with ourselves; stops us from recycling anger and blame.

- Is a powerful healer of our inner and outer lives.

- Can end inner conflicts we tend to carry every day.


He asks readers to imagine the peace that would result on our planet if everyone released old grievances with others... if centuries of racial and religious battles were also released.

Dr. Jampolsky was a physician for more than forty years, and said he recalls how people who had illnesses like back problems, ulcers, high blood pressure, and cancer, found their illnesses decrease as they learned to forgive. He talked about recent research emerging, showing a relationship between health and forgiveness. Dr. Jampolsky said we now know that a lack of forgiveness has a measurable impact on our bodies. This lack of forgiveness includes clinging to fear, anger and pain, which create tensions that affect blood circulation, the efficiency of our immune systems, and puts stress on our hearts, brains and practically all of our body's organs.

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I personally thought I forgave people that hurt me, including myself. But after reading this, and more of the book, I realized there was still a lot of forgiving I needed to do, and fast, because coughing every night and not getting more than 20 minutes of consecutive sleep for about a week was something I needed to stop now.

The question of how to forgive someone, to me, is like the question of how can one love him or herself. Just how do you do it?

Here's what I learned:

- Forgive by making the decision to no longer suffer.

- Forgive completely. There is no middle ground.

- Forgive by giving all your anger, anguish and everything that is a burden on you to God.

- Forgive yourself by forgiving others.

One way I found that indicates to me that I haven't forgiven someone and/or something that happened is when I can still talk about it with the same intensity and passion that I did when it first happened.

Several days ago, I found myself laying on my stomach in the living room writing down a list of people that I still hadn't forgiven (I thought I did; Lord knows I certainly tried!). One column listed what I needed to forgive myself for, and the other listed people I needed to forgive. It read something like this, "(Name), I forgive you for ________."

In the midst of what I call the "forgiveness brainstorm," I found myself with tears of sadness and joy. A feeling of lightness followed soon after.

I can't say that I had instantaneously just forgave those people on that list, but I can say that my willingness to forgive them and desire to do what Dr. Jampolsky recommends has definitely been working for my healing (along with my naturopathic doctor's acupuncture treatment and homeopathic and herbal remedies!):

"Make peace of mind your only goal."

It's amazing how this has been working wonders in every part of my life.



Here are some other forgiveness quotes from Dr. Jampolsky that helped me:

"Forgiveness means letting go of all hopes for a better past."

"It becomes easier to forgive when we choose to no longer believe we are victims."

Visit www.TraciToguchi.Blogspot.com for images.

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