Question of the Day: How do you know when to persist or move on?

I began adding a comment to this quote:


“Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.”
~Harriet Beecher Stowe

 

for my Facebook page, but it became lengthy, so thought this could be an opportune time to write a blog post.

The quote is very true. I’ve witnessed it many times in my life. In fact, I was just telling my mother yesterday two instances in New York City (“NYC”) and Los Angeles (“LA”) when I received significant career opportunities, but was already on another path because I had “given up” on them.

In LA, I had auditioned for a one-time speaking role in a top major network television program, and had a great meeting with the casting director who wanted me for a recurring role, but I was already in the midst of relocating back to Hawaii.

In NYC, I was honored to be called back for consideration by a critically acclaimed and well known playwright for one of the lead roles in a revival of a classic Broadway musical. I attended the call and already had my LA phone number on my resume. The playwright said he heard I was moving to LA then asked, “When are you moving?” I answered, “Tomorrow.”

Needless to say, I was no longer in consideration, as the show was being developed in NYC, and I would have needed to be there for that.

Another opportunity that was finally taking a turn was my winning Amateur Night at the Apollo (by singing). I won, and qualified twice to proceed to the next week’s rounds, but didn’t continue as I had already relocated to LA. If you’re not too familiar with the success of those who won Amateur Night at the Apollo, musical icons would compete weekly, get noticed, then the rest would be musical history. I had gone in the first time with the thought that I wanted to see what I could do on that stage. I wanted to be able to sing the entire song (many don’t get to sing more than a couple of lines, as they can get booed off the stage), and have people clap at the end. (It was a dream to be able to get cheers after singing the first line of “I Am Telling You I’m Not Going,” as well as throughout the song, then receive a standing ovation after it, especially since I only knew two people in the audience.)

Video of my singing “And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going” in Hawaii

The question is, how do we know when to keep persisting, or when to move on?

Aren’t there those that pursue ventures, situations, etc. even when it may seem obvious it is not “right”?

In the case of personal and romantic relationships, aren’t there obvious and less-obvious situations when one should “give up,” and when one should “keep on”?

When I began typing my comment about the quote, I was perplexed about my answer.

As I began typing this post, the answer came to me — I believe we “know” when we are “in tune” with our intuition/soul/gut instinct, whatever you want to call it, as well as our heart. I’d say intuition/soul/gut instinct first and primarily because it doesn’t require reason (head) or emotions (heart). I also feel the heart is an important part of making decisions, as being rooted in and with love means being able to love with the knowledge that whatever happens will ultimately happen for the best for everyone concerned.

I know when I was in those predicaments in NYC and LA years ago, I was having challenges being able to identify my intuition/soul/gut instinct, and being able to “hear” it. Since I tend to be very analytical, I can often over-think anything to a point where I can no longer identify what was that “still small voice inside” (aka intuition/soul/gut instinct), and what was my (over-)reasoning.

As I am a work-in-progress, I continue to work on developing this ability, but feel more confident in my ability to do so.

What about you? How do you know when to persist, or when to move on?

Are "we" our subconscious minds? Fergie & Facebook pray tell.

Ever wake up and realize a song is playing in your head?

Just happened to me. My alarm went off at 5:45 AM, and I was so entrenched in a dream and forgot where my wit wittingly placed my smartphone, that I began reaching for initial areas where I had placed it before heading to bed.

After the third reach in the dark, I had to force myself to be still and listen to where the alarm sound was actually coming from.

It seemed to have taken close to 60 minutes to remember. When I saw it, my mind smiled, recalling how I placed it far enough away to avoid any kinds of “direct” or close contact with any device signals (not to mention there were shut-off equipment and books serving as unintentional blockades).

I was also a bit impressed by the necklace pendant I had laid on top of the phone. This too, made my mind smile.

Ah, but I digress.

As the morning minutes tick-tocked by, I found myself daydreaming while my mind’s background kept singing lyrics of a clever Fergie tune.

If it were any other time when I was conscious, I would have easily known which song my mind had been unconsciously singing. This time though, I stopped my morning daydream, and attempted to accept whether focus would make an entrance for the day to consciously sing more of the lyrics.

I found my mind asking my mind, “What song is this?” After my mind continued singing a couple more lines, I thought, “It’s ‘Glamorus Life.’”

“Ah, okay.”

“But wait. That’s a cool song, but it’s rather superficial. What does it say about *me*?”

“Uh-oh, wait. This thinking about *me* is superficial.”

Yikes.

So guilt wouldn’t become my first conscious emotion of the day, I decided to accept it and move on, regardless if the song remained in my mind or not, and regardless if that makes me a superficial person, a term I wouldn’t usually associate “me” with.

Perhaps my distaste for superficiality in a world where it is endeared, and mere acceptance and even periodic embracing of it, technically, makes me unintentionally and unconsciously superficial.

Wow, the deep self-realizations one can learn first thing in the morning is still astounding me.

Speaking of my morning’s discovery that my unconscious mind is seemingly superficial, thus perhaps I must be, a couple of minutes ago, while typing this document in my BlackBerry device, I stopped for about a second and a half to realize I had images from the film The Social Network in my subconscious. More specifically, the actor Jesse Eisenberg, who plays CEO Founder Mark Zuckerberg.

Oh, I remember when that thought made it’s appearance in my subconscious mind’s red carpet event this morning. It was when I was reflecting and typing about my inner mind’s smirk at my wittiness. I tend to do that from time to time. If I can’t locate an item, a pretty important document usually, I consciously ignore a tip from my unconscious friend, and proceed to check at least 3 different places for the item.

While still in the rational mind mode, I’ll finally take the thought from the silver platter that was holding the location of the item, and viola, there it is. My inward, accompanied at times with an actual outward, smirk comes with the unspoken admiration for my wittiness.

(Now to reel it all back in,) these were the series of events that led me to surprisingly find smirk images of actor Eisenberg playing CEO founder Zuckerberg in my mind.

Considering the quasi-take-it-with-grains-of-salt, seemingly or not-so-seemingly “factual” aspects of that film – actually, since I haven’t done any research on where The Accidental Billionaires book writers got the content, was it through deposition documents, heresay, a combination sprinkled with none of the above, let’s say here are literary moral highlights – that regardless of whether Zuckerberg thinks Facebook was really fully his idea, and that it was his former friend and Facebook Co-Founder’s mistake for being the business end of the company, yet not being business enough to properly review the agreement (again, this could possibly not be the case; it could be a dash of “you took something from me, I’ll give you the option of taking something away from yourself; so it’s technically your own fault”), here too is yet another early morning example of superficiality’s friend, perhaps even immediate family members: greed, deceit, and self-justification-for-the-purpose-of-seemingly-winning, or at the very least, making yourself feel better, enough to get a good night’s rest.

Is this really “me”?

Are “we” our subconscious minds?

My early morning summation would be that we are if we consciously or combo-consciously (yes, I justify my made up terms with use of hyphens) choose to act on those unconscious thoughts.

6:34 AM